So... "how ya feeling boss" is what our Matthew McConaughey sounding nurse asked my Pop. So, it may come as no surprise but I am in the hospital. How I got to this point may be a bit fuzzy. I know it's been a while but life has gotten to be so crazy. My parents are officially back in town and currently home. My parents got home on Tuesday night and we immediately went to the ER. My dad was yellow and sick. He had jaundice, stones in his bile duct and something wrong with his gall bladder. He had 2 procedures done. The first to remove the small stone in his bile duct. It had broken off of a larger one that was in his gall bladder. That was the second procedure. Getting his gall bladder out. After what seemed to be an eternity of endless hours, he finally is home today. It's so nice to have our home filled with people again. I missed my parents so much and especially after what went on with my poor dad, I am so happy for us all to be one again. Today we had our first meal together in about 3 weeks. It was nice. It was a hodge podge of our favorites foods with the T.V on and flowers all around.
Besides that, life has been an adventure lately. I feel as though I have hit a wall with the diet and running. Either I've had work, needed sleep... or was just being lazy and haven't run. And I've been on a binge of fatty foods. But that stopped today and tomorrow I will run before going to yoga. Which has also been a part that's been lacking in my life. I need to find center again.
I feel on the verge of something dark and not a break through. I feel like a firework about to go up that is afraid of heights. I should be happy but I'm still looking for some purpose. Something that will give my life meaning. I will run in the morning and take things day by day. I can not and will not succumb to this weakness. But for now in the rainy evening when there is nothing to be done, I will read inspiring quotes. Cheesy, yes, but it works. I'm reading Kerouac, Fitzgerald and Thoreau quotes. I will go to sleep early while watching the Office. I will then wake up early, go for a run, take a shower, go to yoga, and clean my room.
I'm watching "World's Greatest Dad". Long story short, Robin William is a failed writer and is teaching high school poetry class that no one attends. He has a jackass son who likes to masturbate while choking himself and he ends up killing himself accidentally. Robin Williams unintentionally becomes famous from this because he writes a suicide note from his son, so no one would know how he really killed himself. And it takes off like wildfire. Because then RObin William's publishes the book his son wrote. (Robin Williams really wrote it) and that becomes an instant classic. And now, losing his only son, he gets everything he always thought he wanted, fame, a girl friend, and people who really believe in his writing. It's sad, because it makes me think, at what cost did it take for him to get all that he wanted? It still will never bring back his son. I hope I don't have to go through something horrific to finally be recognized. *spoiler alert* He finally admits the truth in the end. What an interesting movie. As depressing as the plot seems, it's amazing. How when he finally got what he thought he wanted he realized that it wasn't as simple as that. The levity and freeness he felt after declaring his secret is what I'm hoping I'll feel after I do all my things tomorrow. I worry about that though. Working towards what I think I want and realizing after all the hard work that it's not how I thought it would be and wishing I had never gotten there. Which is why I take things day to day and appreciate all that I have. Rather then worrying about getting to where I'm supposed to be, maybe, life each day as we live it is what we should be worried about. I constantly am searching for enlightenment each day.
Another thing I have been beyond thankful for in my life is the fact that I have friends that I will love forever. We'll do this alphabetically so no one is offended.
Baby Girl, Nisey, Jilly and Ly Ly, you girls have touched my life in such a way that I know there is no way to ever undo the kindness and love you all have shown me. That's it for the sweetness. You girls are all 2 bit whores and I look forward to seeing all of you in the near future!!!! :]
On the Eve of 9/11. Let's not forget ever. It still gives me chills when I think of their senseless deaths and it makes me sick that people are still dying. Love one another.
