....your sex karma must be good, 'cause i'm funny for you....

Merry Christmas, I hope this holiday season has been all you've wanted it to be. A lot of times when I come to a certain conclusions and I stop "searching" for whatever it is that I'm searching for. It comes and find me. It never ceases to amaze me though. Every time I think I have a handle on what's going on in my life, life has other plans. I wouldn't really want it any other way though. To think that I or anyone else ever thinks themselves "smart" enough to figure out life really just makes us vain.

That being said, I was so lazy today, I didn't get out of my p.js until well after dinner BUT I changed after that and went for an epic run. The weather here has become freezing again. In the 30's. Yes, I am turning into one of those crazy runner people. i have decided with the new year that I will be a runner for realsies. I will run even more frequently and for longer distances. Today it went up to a little past 3 miles. And in these conditions, that's pretty phenomenal. I just had a lot of time to think about things today. And I'm going to start doing things rather then just talk about them. This new year couldn't come at a better frame of mind/time of my life. I'm always overly-sentimental and thoughtful during the holiday season. It's impossible for me to not be. I just feel it all. I think of all that I have, of all I have had and about what goes on in the world. I feel so helpless when I think of things that I can't change but I try to not be upset because I do what I can. And I'm eliminating drama from my life. I have no room for it in my life. I am lucky and blessed in the way that the cards fell in my life, so I refuse to put up with others' drama. For me, life is not as difficult or tricky as people pretend it to be. And I'm glad that, that is my perspective.

I'm also going to start volunteering more frequently. Not just around the holiday seasons. But during the rest of the year when we all forget about goodwill towards others. I want to help in our country. It's absolutely disgusting that we help so many other places when there are still people in our "glorious" country that are suffering the same as those in other countries. Only when we have reached the highest plateau that we can reach, should we help others. It's not that I think we should say screw other places. I mean, I do truly have a bleeding heart but it's so haughty to not help ourselves first. What makes us qualified to help others before our own? I don't know, just some things I've been thinking about lately. I mean, I think everyone should be guaranteed the basic rights of life. But, unfortunately, we don't live in a world like that. :[ And I hurt that I can't change that. Enough ranting. I see both sides of this argument so it doesn't make for a particularly convincing/interesting paragraph.

This holiday season has been so good. I was feeling like a Charlie Brown. But, all of sudden, after a late night drive like 2 weeks ago, it all changed. And now, I am sad to see it go. I've also been really inspired by frugality of people that I have been reading about people who live off of less then half of what they make. They give the rest to charities. If they can live that way, I can too. And once I start having a real salary, it'll be even easier and will make me feel better about what I'm putting out into the universe. But this year has been even more special because I was home after being away for last Christmas. I am just so lucky to be home, have the family and friends that I have in my life. I'm also glad that commercialism did not take over my life. Granted, I don't make enough to have bought into it but, regardless, I didn't do it. And I'm still taking the FTCE in January, so that will hopefully bring me closer to a real job. Who knows? A lot of things are up in the air right now. I'll have to sit tight until things materialize.

These past 2 weeks have been something else which is why I haven't really be updating. I met someone 2 weeks ago. It's been a whirlwind and has added to my already existing happiness. Not to throw a platitude in here but... We are 2 peas in a pod and that's all I'm gonna say about that. I'm going to stop being so talky about certain things. Maybe, this is growing up? Maybe it's not. Maybe I'm just being weird. Regardless, that's all I have to say about that. Not to quote Forrest Gump.

So, things are good. Life is great. I'm on the right track. <3 Going back to Charlie Brown now.

all you need is love.

It's amazing how such a seemingly-simple homespun philosophy can be missed by entirely. It's meaning can be lost upon so many individuals and it makes me sad for them. I really believe life is only as good or bad as we choose/want it to be. Yes, some people are luckier then others. I think the luck is the people who take the time to look around and appreciate the small things, children laughing, first kisses, warm desserts on cold days. And that despite the fact that I don't feel particularly proud of our country most of the time, it is still a better place to live then most other places. Perhaps, our quality of life is not as high as it should be. But, the mere fact that I am able to say any of this and not be imprisoned is a pretty phenomenal thing. But this entry is not about America. This is about the things people miss when they're too busy feeling awful and feeling sorry for themselves. Everyone has a light inside of them. And the only people that deserve to witness that light, are the ones that are like electricity to us. The ones that don't light us up are not worth stories in our life.

Time is short and so we shouldn't waste time with people that won't make our lives better or at least more interesting. There are so many people in the world. Everyone can light up someone else's light. So you should set them free so they're able to do that for another. Despite this whole rant, I'm still sad for a certain ending. I was really beginning to be patient and was giving up some of my intensity. But that's dangerous territory. When you start to give up little parts of you, that person or thing should also be giving up something. It's unfair to be one-sided and does not have lasting power. Ok- enough talking about boys.

I registered to take the FTCE exams. I registered for three of them and I'll be taking those in January. I have the best boss at work, she really worked with me for the Christmas vacation. So I'll be off 23rd-25th at least. Actually through the 27th because Sunday and Monday are my days off anyways. So, I'll be able to spend time with family. She really is the best supervisor. She works with all of us and tries to make us all happy. That's a true first for the bosses that typically work at my company. So thank you S.

And even more exciting, I just got back from NOLA with my sister. What an amazing trip. All the history, the freeness, the spirituality, the Mississippi River, the food, the booze, oh and the cast of Twilight ftw. :P It was really an amazing city. It had such history and superstition attached to it. I was over Bourbon street after the first day but the NOLA, itself, I could have stayed a bit longer. It was a great time had with Nisey. This was our first trip together and it was a success, although, we swore it would be our last trip together ever a few times. :]

Anyways, I need to go finish studying the math section for the GK.

Love the dreary Sunday weather, hope it brings you all you want today.

make you the world a bit better or more beautiful because you have lived in it.

this quote equates my life. It really does. One of my problems and greatest fortes is in my infatuous nature. I know infatuous isn't actually a word but it fits how I am. I get so attached to feelings, people, places and events in my life that I forget to acknowledge the important things. Remaining centered and doing the things that are important to me. I get so wrapped up in my emotions about things that I don't realize the actuality of events, people, places and feelings.

I let my feelings get the best of me. I love that I am like that. I love that I try to live deeply. However, living deeply with every whim and fancy that I have takes me away from reality. I have created a false sense of reality. I am on the road to self-realization and finding my balance in my life. I have certain ideas about how to do it but they all involve me, essentially running away. Although it's immensely attractive to pack my things up and explore and just go until I'm done, doing so would take me away from my family and friends who are such pillars in my craziness that is my life.

Through yoga, prayer, meditation, exercising my body and mind, and time spent with family and friends, I have found peace. But that peace is fleeting at the sight of a passion. I'm not sure how to restrain myself yet. In a way I'm glad I don't. If I were to live my life entirely how I imagine it to be, I think that would push me closer to death because we aren't perfect. Nothing and nobody is perfect in this world. It's what we do with what we're given that creates our ideas of perfection. I'm not even sure I'd ever want to restrain myself. That's such a strong word and I'm not sure we should ever truly limit ourselves.

On another tangent, watched Eat Pray Love, it was a pretty awful movie because I feel like in her finding herself, she had to run away to do it and who can really just escape their lives for a year in foreign places but regardless, it made me realize that I had a bit in common with the main character. I was also impressed with the people that impacted her life through out the film. In my life, I would like to only ever surround myself with people that possess a certain joie de vivre. They change my life and challenge me. I'm thankful for all interactions with those people no matter how impermanent they are. And the ones that aren't just wilt away and I never wish them unhappiness but I certainly try to never waste our time or emotion trying to make what we "have" into something. No matter how lonely I get. That's unfair to all involved. And something I am not quite good at yet. :]

Now, that I am in a thoughtful;thankful;peaceful sort of mood- I bid all 2 readers goodnight. Sleep well and find what makes you happy.

Right away you're thinkin' 'bout romance now...

You know you oughta take it slower. But you just can't wait to get to know her.. I love the Beach Boys..

And on today, it is Thanksgiving.
I'd like to think of the things that I am thankful and post them so that maybe you all will do the same and try to not take things fore granted which unfortunately is easy to do. Especially in our country, where things are so easy. I know we have our difficulties, trust me. I may know better then most but even I with my little money that I have, I own a new car. So for being as poor as I am, I am still beyond blessed with what I have.

★ My family. They have such nurturing souls.
★ My friends- let me be more specific- $.02 Whore, Baby Girl, Jilly, Ly Ly.
★ The experiences that I have had in my life. I hope they continue to enrich my life.
★ Art
★ The life that I have
★ That I have a home and I live in it.
★ Who I am as a person. I'm not perfect but I love who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin and try to appreciate everything that I have.
★ My legs, they allow me to run and take me places.
★ My hands that allow me to create, play piano, write and take care of people.
★ Music, it feeds my soul
★ Words, I hope they never run out
★ My education
★ Knowledge
★ The love that does exist in this world, if we take the time to realize it.
★ My future, while I can't see it now, I know it's bright.
★ The fact that I'm finally down to a size 6!!!
★ My and my family and friend's health.
★ Natural resources
★ Raw food
★ Everything (yes, I'm like a 5 y/o)
I'm not trying to be preachy but I really feel this way everyday. I do lose sight of the things that matter in life. Because it really is all about the little things.
I know that I didn't get all this all by myself, it was a accumulation of my family, my friends and the outlook and being that God has given/made me.
I know this entry is quite trite but it's exactly how I feel.

I'm just happy. And I hope you all are too and can take the time to be thankful not just today, but always. Love to you all.

quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock.

I know it's not too rare that we find music and lyrics that fit our lives. Maybe, it's that particular moment or maybe it's always been the case. This song has been particularly meaningful especially due to my ever present bout of wanderlust.


"These days, my life, I feel it has no purpose,
But late at night the feelings swim to the surface.
Cause on the surface the city lights shine,
They're calling at me, "come and find your kind."

But I feel like this is my life story. Truly and it's awful. I go through my days and feel like I'm getting nowhere and I'm going there fast. I don't want to turn into one of these people that works at nothing for years and then finally stops one day and looks around and says what the hell happened to me, my life, my goals and my dreams? I just wish I could be like most people and just do a job. I wish I didn't have to the "perfect and meaningful" job. I feel like the teaching thing can't come soon enough. But I haven't even really begun to study for it. I'm starting tomorrow.

I've come to a conclusion, I am going to do something every day that is going to better my situation. Even if it's just 30 mins of reading from a book or exercising. I'm going to be doing things like studying for the FTCE,running, finishing Anna Karenina, practice French and Armenian, learn the guitar, practice the piano,continue with Spanish. I think the worse realization one can come to is that the life they are living is just ordinary. And I've come to that realization.

I just need to figure out my life. I know teaching is next up in my life but where will I do it? The FTCE is here in FL. I want to travel. Should I do that? Should I do Teach for America? Will my wandering ever be done? Will I ever become content? And on this early Wednesday morning, I am no closer to the answers. All I know I will wake up in like 8 hours, go for a run, and start the studying for the FTCE.

I really do wish I could be frivolous, and be a singer, a writer, a model, be the cute girl I've always wanted to be and do anything I want. It sucks when you have these whimsies and real bills to pay.

Now, I must add a disclaimer. I know this was more of a whiny entry but sometimes, we're whiny bitches. It happens. I'm glad that I've hit this wall, it was the catalyst needed to bring about change. Things have to get that bad before they get good. And it'll be a rough road to change but I'll be that much better for it in the end. Thanks for listening to ramblings of brain tonight.


sleep well dear readers.

here's a song for lovers, who don't care if they don't sleep

I want to share a quote that kind of makes things in our lives that's not perfect, quite alright."There is a crack in everything / That is how the light gets in". It kind of offers us reassurance because, let's face it. We make mistakes every day that we're alive. And I mean that essentially that's what life is. We make mistakes, we try to fix our mistakes in the time before we make another mistake. We're not supposed to be perfect. It makes it seem like whatever you're doing, it's alright. The light is the redeeming factor in our being.

So Halloween has come and gone. I'm sick again! Yuck. Halloween was super fun. I went as a girl from Dia de Los Muertos. It was so much fun to put on all that makeup. It was a slight fiasco though. We had called a taxi at around 9:45 because we were planning on drinking. By 11:50, still no taxi, so we decided to drive. So I didn't drink too much which makes me happy. I spent like 3 days at Baby Girl's house. It was super fun! And we ended up running into Jesus which was nice. We had no idea it would be like the Mass Exodus downtown.
We only had 3 trick-or-treaters. What is the world coming to? I understand you want your kids to be safe but they're miss out on so much by not partaking in this ritual. You should go with them, I just don't understand it.

Speaking of alcohol, I have such a love hate relationship with alcohol. There are parts of me that really enjoy drinking, the tipsiness and warm feeling that is my reaction but then there's this other part of me that is never proud, the day after.I also hate how unhealthy it is and and even unhappy with things that I may have said or done while under the influence.

Life is good. I have started studying for the FTCE. I'm really excited about this decision. I kind of can't believe I didn't think of it sooner.
My room's been clean, I've been trying to be a good friend, sister and daughter. I haven't been exercising because I've been sick nor have I been eating healthy. I also, haven't been going to yoga. But I suppose if my life was completely in order and I was doing all that I should be doing that something awful would happen in order to make it balanced.

Started reading Anna Karenina. What an excellent and intriguing book. I've been trying to keep up with reading good books. So, I don't lose my vocabulary.

Well I need to run to the store to grab some pro-biotic pills. Take care of yourselves. <3 you

And skipping over the ocean like a stone...

I've been so erratic with this blogging. I apologize. It's not even that I don't have things to write about, I just haven't. But that's all changing now. As I write this, there is a slight breeze through my open window- my sheer pink curtains blowing in and out, the smell of pumpkin spice in my room,a hot cup of silver needle tea and some birdies playing in the tree out in front of my window. I just took an hour long bath while listening to the top 40 countdown. I haven't took that long of a bath in ages and I haven't listened to the countdown since Casey Kasem did it.

Life has been surprising, and good.


Today, I'm still getting over being sick. But I beat it to the punch. I took good care of myself and as a result have had a speedy recovery.!

It's been a whirlwind tour of friends visiting and just living. Ly Ly essentially lives at my house. It's nice to have a new sister! My Nisey, (real sister) has a broken foot and consequently has to wear this awful air cast thing. She's recovering but tells everyone it's my fault. It most assuredly was not. She tells them though that I ran her foot over with a shopping cart. I grazed her foot and she is just delusional.
Recently my Jilly came to visit. As always it was so nice to visit. It was a little off though and I wondered about it. And I finally figured it out. We're at total different points in our lives and as a result we're just having a bit of a disconnect. However, unlike our friendship, it won't last forever. All relationships go through things. And at the risk of sounding sappy, we love and appreciate one another for who we are so I know we'll still be friends once this aberration is over.

Been seeing a lot more of Baby Girl. However, due to my recent bout of illness, I'm back to my ole tricks again of canceling on her. At least it was a for real reason.

I'm still single and mingling. I still have yet to meet someone offline. Yes, I'll admit it. I've joined an online dating website. Apparently it's what the cool kids are doing. All my closet friends, have made one. I just feel like it's so inorganic. But I have been meeting people in real life. They've been surprising and I'm enjoying it. I've never really just dated. I get so excited and happy with someone that I typically jump into a relationship with people.

I think the problem with me not finding the right guy or the right job are the same reasons. Rather then focusing on the type of job or guy I want. I'm focusing on the now. I prefer it this was because rather then looking at the end result, I'm enjoying my now. I know it won't last forever. I know eventually some job and guy will tie me down and I'm okay with that but I'm enjoying just drifting at the moment. I just hope I won't be sucked into a life of endless drifting. Eventually I'd like to have a real job and a real guy. I think another problem of living and floating in the now is that, for me, I have no idea what would make me happy, in a job or a guy. I have intangible ideas. I want to be happy, I want to have a meaningful job, I want to have depth with a guy, I want a decent guy, I want to help people, I think I'd like to work with kids, I want warmth, No ickiness and none of what I've had in the past. Well, at least with respect to guys.

I try not to make that the focus of my life though. I just try to be an on the level type of girl. I know eventually all that will come into my life when it's time. I try to live a life of balance of my body, mind and soul. It's working, I think. I'm eating healthier then usual, still running, doing yoga, praying and meditating, and taking care of the people I love. That gives my life a little fulfillment and purpose.

This Sunday is the reason I know there is something above us. Life is what it is and it's good.

it doesn't count until you go to sleep and wake up.

So, judging by the title of my blog. It's not really my birthday until I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. But really, I'm 24. Or at least will be by the time I'm done with this blog. I wanted to update it because I've got a lot on my mind and in my heart.

I will be 24. I have never been 24 before and I will never again be 23. I feel like when it's your birthday that your life kind of starts over. Like a new year, this is more personal and is your very own fresh start. I am so looking forward to it. There's this quote.I'm going to butcher it but you'll get the idea. It's about finding out who you are or what you're supposed to do but rather it's about the everyday living. That's who you become. I love that quote. That was the gist of it, essentially. As cliche as it is Life is not about the destination but rather the journey. Since I'm spewing my "homespun" philosophies. I'm going to add this one. Your perspectives become a reality.

But really, this new year is going to be the best one. 24 is promising and holds so much. Working my way up or getting into a real job. Continuing the healthy streak I've been on and continue losing weight. Stop passing opportunities up and being a bump on a log which is so easy to become. Especially in our world in which living is easy. (Not to semi-quote Sublime)

But really, Life is good. (6 minutes until my birthday) Watching the Office, got my sissy next to me and my family is all good. That is all for now. Well really, I feel like I need to continue writing until it's actually midnight and officially my birthday.

I'll let you guys in on the birthday plans. Tomorrow- leaving the house at 6:15am to go do a 5k for the American Heart Association. Which is a group close to my heart. Then grabbing some breakfast and heading to a cemetery where I will partake in my ritual. Then it's home for some nice family time until my friends come over for a big dinner that my great Pop will prepare. Oh and ps- when I walked in the house tonight my Mom and sissy decorated the house so nice for my day. So after our big feast, us girls will head downtown where drinking and getting into trouble will begin. :] It'll be the best!

That being said, this morning was in the 60's and I went for a delicious hour long run in the nature preserve and found the ultimate dress and shoes for the birthday extravaganza. But I'm even more excited about the weather changing though. The current storm is sucking out moisture so humidity.

Oh and received great presents from my sister in law, brother and their most adorable children ever. Those kids are growing up faster then you could imagine. And got the VERY best birthday card all the way from Armenia. Made me miss him and Armenia even more. <3

Okay, it's midnight. Goodnight. Love yous. and Happy Birthday to me!!!! :]

i hope you're as happy as you're pretending...

Let me tell you- that song will never get old. I was driving home from work in the dismal weather and this song came on. I almost couldn't believe it. I was instantly brought back to high school. And I sang. This song makes me so happy even though it's terribly depressing like most death cab songs are.

I must say something before I go on. Today I received a card from a very dear friend of mine. Someone who understands my soul entirely and still cares for me. I absolutely adore this boy and his letters are without a doubt the best I've ever received in my life. He reminded me of things that I had forgotten and as usual is pushing me to be a better version of myself. I just wish he were closer. But maybe I wouldn't feel as I do if he did live closer. Either way I can't wait to write him back. I typically write back and mail his response the day after! <3

I've been in a funk. I've been happy and dealing with my moods but truly I've been in a funk hence the lack of blog updates. So I apologize for that. But I won't blog boringly. I'd rather not blog. I've just been slightly boring and standoffish to people who could offer adventures. I've also become slightly cynical. Not for any particular reason really. Because I've lived a good life. I haven't had so many more negative experiences then anyone else but for some reason I just have interest or belief system in dating someone. I've also not been living the good life. I've been thinking that "I'm too cool for school". I'm starting to rethink that. There's a point where confidence passes the threshold into narcissism. And I think that's where I've been. All my actions and my karmic energy that I've been putting out into this world has been less then pleasing. But now I'm aware of it.

So things are good. I started my half sleeve (finally). It's so lovely and elegant. I know that when I'm in my 50's that I won't mind it. It'll just remind me of how free-spirited I was and perhaps I mean even smile when I'm that old because I'll remember how silly I was. I adore it. October 9th I'll be getting some more. Either the star my Pop has or a bird. An outline of a sparrow or dove. Because I'm as free as the wind. I know it's seems excessive but I'm obsessed. Same with running. Although that's a bit of a lie. I haven't been running lately.. I have been exercising but not running as hard core as I was. I'm starting again tomorrow.

I came home today, after work, and had a complete renovation of my attitude. I just was feeling sorry for myself. And I was completely changed. Maybe because I was planning on going out tonight to Grits and Gravy. But the rain changed that and I'm actually really okay with that. So I cleaned my room and bathroom. I'll be working tomorrow 330-midnight. I'm not a big fan of closing but I don't mind. My Mom has good feelings about me and jobs this week or at least the upcoming couple of weeks. So we'll see.

Some times, especially with Fall coming up. Someone to walk arm in arm with. Wear scarves with. Drink spiced tea and hot cocoa and eat caramel apples with. I'm not really looking for a relationship or just sex per se but adventures. Someone to live deeply with.

The pink hued sky is enchanting. Time to walk the Mikey dog.

But before I go- here's a picture of Ly Ly and I with my new tattoo

The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want

So... "how ya feeling boss" is what our Matthew McConaughey sounding nurse asked my Pop. So, it may come as no surprise but I am in the hospital. How I got to this point may be a bit fuzzy. I know it's been a while but life has gotten to be so crazy. My parents are officially back in town and currently home. My parents got home on Tuesday night and we immediately went to the ER. My dad was yellow and sick. He had jaundice, stones in his bile duct and something wrong with his gall bladder. He had 2 procedures done. The first to remove the small stone in his bile duct. It had broken off of a larger one that was in his gall bladder. That was the second procedure. Getting his gall bladder out. After what seemed to be an eternity of endless hours, he finally is home today. It's so nice to have our home filled with people again. I missed my parents so much and especially after what went on with my poor dad, I am so happy for us all to be one again. Today we had our first meal together in about 3 weeks. It was nice. It was a hodge podge of our favorites foods with the T.V on and flowers all around.

Besides that, life has been an adventure lately. I feel as though I have hit a wall with the diet and running. Either I've had work, needed sleep... or was just being lazy and haven't run. And I've been on a binge of fatty foods. But that stopped today and tomorrow I will run before going to yoga. Which has also been a part that's been lacking in my life. I need to find center again.

I feel on the verge of something dark and not a break through. I feel like a firework about to go up that is afraid of heights. I should be happy but I'm still looking for some purpose. Something that will give my life meaning. I will run in the morning and take things day by day. I can not and will not succumb to this weakness. But for now in the rainy evening when there is nothing to be done, I will read inspiring quotes. Cheesy, yes, but it works. I'm reading Kerouac, Fitzgerald and Thoreau quotes. I will go to sleep early while watching the Office. I will then wake up early, go for a run, take a shower, go to yoga, and clean my room.

I'm watching "World's Greatest Dad". Long story short, Robin William is a failed writer and is teaching high school poetry class that no one attends. He has a jackass son who likes to masturbate while choking himself and he ends up killing himself accidentally. Robin Williams unintentionally becomes famous from this because he writes a suicide note from his son, so no one would know how he really killed himself. And it takes off like wildfire. Because then RObin William's publishes the book his son wrote. (Robin Williams really wrote it) and that becomes an instant classic. And now, losing his only son, he gets everything he always thought he wanted, fame, a girl friend, and people who really believe in his writing. It's sad, because it makes me think, at what cost did it take for him to get all that he wanted? It still will never bring back his son. I hope I don't have to go through something horrific to finally be recognized. *spoiler alert* He finally admits the truth in the end. What an interesting movie. As depressing as the plot seems, it's amazing. How when he finally got what he thought he wanted he realized that it wasn't as simple as that. The levity and freeness he felt after declaring his secret is what I'm hoping I'll feel after I do all my things tomorrow. I worry about that though. Working towards what I think I want and realizing after all the hard work that it's not how I thought it would be and wishing I had never gotten there. Which is why I take things day to day and appreciate all that I have. Rather then worrying about getting to where I'm supposed to be, maybe, life each day as we live it is what we should be worried about. I constantly am searching for enlightenment each day.

Another thing I have been beyond thankful for in my life is the fact that I have friends that I will love forever. We'll do this alphabetically so no one is offended.
Baby Girl, Nisey, Jilly and Ly Ly, you girls have touched my life in such a way that I know there is no way to ever undo the kindness and love you all have shown me. That's it for the sweetness. You girls are all 2 bit whores and I look forward to seeing all of you in the near future!!!! :]

On the Eve of 9/11. Let's not forget ever. It still gives me chills when I think of their senseless deaths and it makes me sick that people are still dying. Love one another.

plaid..lumberjack...maple syrup....fall is coming.

anddd crimson nail polish...

I am beyond excited for the upcoming season while enjoying the last legs of Summer. The weather has been progressively changing for the past 2 weeks. This time of year makes me miss Tallahassee even more. At this time of year, it's still hot but at night it's very nice. It creates warm feelings on your insides while gently chilling your outsides. The other day I even wore a sweater during the day and I wasn't hot. It was in the 70's and the humidity disappeared and it gave Floridians a glimpse of the upcoming season. It was a nice sneak preview but since then, it's gone back to being muggy. Although, as I write this the windows are opened. Brightening my and Jilly's souls. We're drinking delicious organic sulfite free wine and we're sympathetically stoned; dancing in between typing;thinking deeply;getting warm;laughing uncontrollably; while the sun sets.

This week has been interesting. I've started my new position at work. I'm getting a slight promotion. This makes me happy and unhappy. Happy because my hard work is paying off and I'll be making a little bit more money but unhappy because I'm furthering myself with a company in a role that isn't stimulating. That being said, I wouldn't mind continuing to work for them if I was doing something that was challenging and rewarding. But, I make the best with what I've got. I work as hard as I can and do the best work I can do. That's something my Mother instilled in me. If you've got a job to do, do it well. It doesn't matter if you're a ditchdigger, be the best damn ditchdigger you can be. Also, with the economic situation, I'm just thankful to have a job. :]

I'm so excited for my birthday which is coming up. I can't wait to uphold my morbid tradition of going to a graveyard on my birthday. It started when an ex-boyfriend (Nicky) had messed up big time and wanted to meet up on my birthday and he wanted to see me and wanted to know what I wanted to do so I came up with the most ridiculous thing I could. But I love it. It's all about the interconnectivity of people. People who died on the day that I celebrate my day of birth. I know it's morbid and strange but I like it. Speaking of Nicky. I got to see him on Friday. So, I got a tattoo. Finally!!!! It worked out that he was coming to O-town and he and my Sissy were able to be there for me. It's a bummer but I couldn't get my half sleeve because the picture I had wasn't going to work out but I have a new plan and it will work and if all goes well, I'll get it this upcoming Friday. It'll be my Sissy and Ly-Ly with me. Truth be told, it did not hurt nearly as much as people say it would. It was kind of enthralling. I can't wait to get more. Really.



Found a new cool hang out- Austin's. It vaguely reminds me of All Saints in Tallahassee. It's a 24 hr coffee/beer/vegetarian food place. It's so delectably delicious. I had PBR and a vegan cookie with Ly Ly. It was such a fun night. We met so many interesting people. We met one gentlemen who claimed he was wearing a 900 dollar jacket, convinced Walt Disney to build DisneyWorld here in Orlando and was Santa Claus' brother. Ironically enough though, he was a black gentlemen. We were tempted to ask if he was Santa Claus' brother from another mother but refrained. Finally we were rescued by our new found friends. It was hilarious.

Oh, next funny episode out of the story that is my life happened on Tuesday. I went out dancing to my favorite place in the world and ran into AVN. Talk about awkward. It was like a movie, we were dancing back to back with new people of the opposite sex. We made idle chit chat. The funny thing was, I had been saying to my friend how I thought it was odd that we hadn't run into each other since we broke up and while I'm saying this, he is sitting directly adjacently behind her. Being the 5th grader that I am, I texted her and we promptly left the upstairs and went downstairs to dance and drink! It's not that I didn't want to see him, I just didn't want it to be that soon. Haha. I had no reason to see him, you know? What could I possibly say? We weren't even friends anymore. And that's all I'll say about that. Although Grits and Gravy- massive success. Danced with a Patrick Swayze type and stayed out until 4 when I had to work at 8.

And now, I will end this captivating tale of my escapades because I need to live with Jilly.

p/s miss my parents.. They're in Montana. And they didn't take me with them...

my fault, my failure, is not in the passions i have, but in my lack of control of them

So this quote is fitting with my day today. I spent a lovely girls day out with my Mom. We got mani&pedis. And, now, as I write this I am watching Funny Face. If only, I could be more like Audrey. The before she gets made over. The raw version of her character.

Since I had a venti iced coffee. I've been on edge. Something just snapped yesterday. I've been far too deep inside my own head. But there are some conclusions I've come to today. I think I will go to the breathing and meditation yoga class tomorrow. I just need to stay busy. I feel the restlessness even as I write this in my newly immaculately clean room, in my bed. I should be exhausted but I'm not.

★ I really used to like Sex and the City. But lately, it's been really annoying. It's all about the fabulous single woman who has a career and the world at her feet. But all they do and discuss are men. What happened to their lives? What happened to things that make them relevant? It's kind of annoying. So I won't be watching it for a while.
★ I've decided I'm going to post pictures in my blogs. I think it will be more fun then just a photo-less blog entry.
★ I want my life to be more..., I'm not sure the word, but more worthwhile. As the title of this blog suggests. I wish I had more control over the passions I have. And if I can't find a job that is worthwhile then one that promises some type of fun would be far better then the current situation.


Anyways, so that's what I've been thinking today. Something interesting happened though at Starbucks. There was this adorable/lovely boy behind the counter (completely gay) but nonetheless he was wildly interested in me. Kept smiling and "flirting". I was quite the confused young lady. My mother, however, found it amusing.


Ai- Where are the Fred Astaires of the world? Or really just the wildly romantic love affairs of a lost era? One that didn't involve the internet, text messages or annoying games? You liked someone and that was enough.. The maddening part of this whole mind thought is that I don't even want a relationship just fun.. And kisses. I would dance around an abandoned book store also after that kiss.

In other news, happier news ;] I FINALLY get to go to Grits&Gravy this Tuesday. Everyone should clap their hands at this point. I was going to invite AVN because it was kind of a joke that I had been working every Tuesday night. But then I actually thought about asking him and thought how silly that would be.

Went to Epcot this past Friday with Nisey (that's my sissy). Had a wonderful time. They had vegan food there in Seasons, the food place by the Land. It was quite the delectable meal. That's me eating the lovely salad. mmmmm.



And this is my sissy and I being silly....




And so now, I will float off to sleep with lovely thoughts of Miss Hepburn. Sweet dreams..

Leaving the Horse Ranch for the Islands...

As I write this, I'm surrounded by my lovely family as my father cooks 2 different meals. One for me and one for the meat eaters. I will be eating a chick'un stir fry with Napa cabbage, spinach, onions and mushrooms. It has tons of ginger and little bit of soy sauce. While we do this, we're enjoying cocktails.. My cocktail is a new one that I have never tried. It's a green tea vodka spritzer. It's delicious. It has the antioxidants and alcohol. It's quite refreshing. I've been feeling lately like each day just gets better and better. I have a family that would do anything for me. Often, they do do that constantly for one another. My car is running well. Hell, it's wonderful. and although I spend about 30 bucks on gas, I get it far less then I did before. I'm switching locations at work. I start next week. It should be good. I'm growing my hair out, but only slightly. Kind of a messy bob. But not too long because I enjoy having short hair. I've been so inspired lately. (stilllookingforajobthough) My weight is down in the 140s. And all I can say is it's about time. I've been running almost every day. It's the most invigorating thing one can do for themselves. To sweat before the day even begins. It's something I can entirely control and I adore that. I know it may seem crazy but I like sweating. It's complete bliss.

Let me tell you. The weather and the outside-ness of that has been around for the past week has been breathtaking. The changes that have been going on are so apparent. The clouds look like they belong in a movie or a video game or something pretend. It's been heat lightning every night and hot and sticky during the day. The moon has been enchanting. However, as I write this, it's real lightning rather then heat lightning.


This week has been full of adventure with Ly Ly and my sissy. I've been missing a certain girl in T- Town, more then words can describe. Life is good though and it just keeps getting better each day. Sorry these blogs have become more of just ramblings rather then what I do every day. It's not a diary though. It was becoming that and I had to change it.

Enjoy the storm and the calm afterwards.
<3

let's pretend we don't exist. let's pretend we're in antartica

As I write this the moon is high above and in a phantasmagorical state. It's the kind of moon that makes me wish instead of writing outside in the hot sticky stale air, I was in a field. Far away from the lights and the real life. Completely alone. In the type of field that would promise a girl death. In particularly, my death. An obscene;perverted;beastly death. Not that I want to die in any manner. Pleasant or not. But this moon makes me want to be in that field that looks like it would promise death but in my particular scenario, I would be alive and full of thoughts.

This week has been full of lots of things. A small bout of sexual harassment (which is complete bullshit), time spent with friends, goodbyes, and hellos. As I continue writing this, I see that I need to read more because I am misspelling a whole plethora of pictures. But really, I've worked every day this week and next week promises even more.I can't wait to find a job where I can wear nail polish anytime I want. But this paycheck that I've been working for is going to go towards a particular goal. I have a NEW car. A 2010 grey Chevy Cobalt 2 dr LT. It's super sessi. Her name is Thérèse Rambo- the Silver Bullet. It's really stellar. I have XM, power windows and locks, and an I-POD hook up. It's so hood.

Ai, so this week has been hectic. I'll be glad to find a job that speaks to me, one that has me doing something that really matters. That's all I'll say about that on this post. Because I am quite lucky to have the job that I do have.

So, I sold Rambo. The car that has been my life since I was 16. I sold it to some lovely people. I went out to meet them because I had to get a feel for them. They were the cutest couple ever. He was pretty stoic, and she was completely excitable. She was so adorable. It was a completely fortuitous. I have a tag holder that says "Nole Girl" and their daughter is going to FSU next week. And the car just fit them and I informed her that his name was Rambo and she agreed to keep the name, because it was only fitting. They will be picking it up on Monday.

Tomorrow will be lovely. I will be having a girl date with my girl Ly Ly. We are going to be spending time in the great Florida outdoors. But, perhaps, as I suspect, we may just laze around and go to the movie Dinner With Schmucks. I hope I don't feel bad for Steve Carrel because I am so in like with him. Yesterday we went for a tiny hike in the preserve by my house. It was good to sweat out all the toxins I had drank the night before at I Bar. That is my favorite nightspot in the world. Really, it is. Before that, we saw Beach Party from 1963 in a park on a blanket. It was so much fun. Time spent with lovely girls and laying under the sky. "Briing me my pendulum kiddies, I feel like swinging". But really I like bad habits. I do. Lately. It's not an all the time thing but I enjoy drinking, smoking, cursing and just being bad. I know I'm not being really "bad" per se but for this lil girl, it's bad enough and in my head, it's bad. SO there you go.

I cleaned my room today, it's loverly. I am excited to go out tomorrow. I miss Jilly big time.. Life is good. the moon is alluring. To quote the last line of the book because it's quite apropos for my life. I am ready to be alone. <3

if I fall if I die know i lived and missed some bullets

So life has been interesting. Today was pretty terrible but not really. It was like tropical depression weather but it was nice because I went for a run during the usual hottest part of the day. And I sweated my ass off. I like that. I feel like when I sweat I get all the toxins out of my system. I know it's probably not true but it makes me feel better.

So my car, my Rambo is officially dying. Today, I was on my way to yoga to calm my mind and Rambo started doing whatever it is that it's doing. :/ I've had so many memories in that car. First makeout, adventures, road trips, hanging out with best friends over the years. Since I was 16. And tomorrow I will be test driving Cobalts. I'm pretty excited about it though. I guess I need a car with this new part of my life. I'm kind of a grownup now. I just thought I'd have a year or 2 left. Guess not. But it'll be okay. I'm going to have to work my ass off to make payments for it. Lucky for me, they have great incentives going on at Chevrolet. I know that I will be getting a good job within the next few months. I just know it. Because it can't get any worse then my job right now. :] And I've still been applying like crazy. I will get my foot into some door. But, for the meantime, I'm working the next 2 weeks straight. It will be good $$$$ Even if I do, this winter, the belts will be worn tighter. Because I am still losing weight and because I will not be wasting money on anything other then my credit card, my new car, and insurance! Yowsa. Good thing I know where the cheap/free drinks are.

Speaking of great incentives. I've been a vegetarian for years and as of yesterday I've decided to be vegan. It's been fun so far. The only dairy thing I'm eating is Greek yogurt. For the protein and the probiotics. But I had soy ice cream yesterday and a vegan grilled cheese today. Tastes a lot better then you would think. Speaking of vegan, I know what I'm going to be getting for my half sleeve. It's going to be a phoenix with flowers and vines and pretty colors. That's going to be my birthday present from my family. (Yes, my mother is thrilled---sarcasm) I've been reading good books lately. I finished Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Kloseterman. I also am rereading The Moon and Sixpence by Maugham. It has one of my all time favorite quotes. "I saw its ordered happiness, but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course. There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights. In my heart was a desire to live more dangerously. I was not unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous shoals if i could only have change- change and the excitement of the unforeseen"

Really. Just love it.

Just like I love life. Things are rough sometimes but that's just a way to remind us of our humility and not to get too ahead of ourselves. And I appreciate that. See ya at I-Bar on Thursday!!!


Oh, wanna know something funny? I have a secret defense that I have. I find it amusing. I have "fuck you outfits". When I want to go out and just have fun with my friends and be crazy and obtuse. I wear my glasses and a random outfit and it's fun to kind of dare men to come up and talk to me. I like to see who comes over. It's pretty immature but it makes me and my friends laugh.

if you'd just let me, i'd stop the world and melt with you.

I've been going through every emotion in the book. I'm finally coming to terms with things and it only took a week. So I suppose that's good. I think I finally realized that there's really nothing I can do. I've made peace with that and life is really starting to get as good as it was. Intensity like that doesn't last forever. And I happy that it happened. It was just one of those things.

I've been on such a wave of change, I've not lost about 13 lbs and I've been applying to jobs like crazy! I feel like each day just gets better and better.

Today, I woke up and (it's my sister's birthday) and I was just so unabashedly happy. I purely blissful. I have no real reason to be, except for the fact that I'm alive, healthy and it's her birthday. I can just tell that this is going to be one of those days. I'm this happy and I work early this morning and was out late last night. That should tell you how good I feel today! So, I love other people's birthdays. I love my birthday the most but I really enjoy other peoples also. You get to celebrate their life and providing you like that person, it's kind of cool. We are going to be going to get pizza and going to see the Wizard of Oz. You may ask, how old is my sister turning and based on the activities planned out, you might guess 13 but she's not. She's 10 years older and it's funny because when we go out to bars, people typically think I'm the older one or that we're twins. Yeah, not so funny.! But what can you do? I am extremely happy to be celebrating her life. She has so much life in her. She lacks a certain joie de vivre, but I dare you to find a more kind person. She would do anything. Granted, when it comes to me, she tends to drag her feet and let me know when she's done a good thing but she does it nonetheless. And, that, I think says the most.

Let me preface this next part by saying how much I love Florida. LOVE it. I grew up here. And I can't imagine a cooler place. There is so much to do,that isn't touristy. And since writing last, I have found the coolest and most beautiful beach. Ever. I've been to lots of beaches all around the world but there is something particularly special about PlayaLinda. It's on the Cape Canaveral Coast Line, you have to be $3.00 a person but it's beyond worth it. I can't even tell you why it was so lovely but it was AND there's a place there to tan topless. Get excited!!! But really, I went there with Ly Ly. Another person who has accomplishments that I have been celebrating. She is finished with her undergrad nursing degree. She graduates this Sunday and I'm so proud of her. She's the friend that we had had a falling out over God knows what. But, we're back in each other's lives and it's been perfect. Possibly because we've been through a lot and appreciate each other better now.! And since I'm mentioning all my lovely girls. Here's a shout out to Jilly. Just because she's stellar.! But yeah, Ly Ly took me there. She knew that was exactly what I needed at the time with what I was going through. Now, I say that, like something terrible really happened to me. But compared to what some people go through, being sick, not having enough money to really survive or dealing with way more intense demons. It makes my silly boy problem look like nothing. But, in my life, this was bad enough. But, I am secretly happy that, that was the worst thing going on in my life. Well that and not finding a good job yet.! AH! I know something will turn up. I feel it. I think next week is going to be good.

SO let's just say,life is good. People in my life are good. All I'm really hoping to change is my job situation and I know it will. I guess I should really get out of bed and ready for the ole job. Have a lovely Friday guys. And, just be happy. Really. <3

all these people drinking lover's spit...

I must warn the reader before I write this that I am running off 3 hours of sleep, so bear with me. In news of the job front, I have been applying myself like crazy to all sorts of jobs. I am now considering a job in South Korea teaching English but that would only buy me one more year of not finding a more permanent job.
But really what I want is these paid "internship" with Public Allies. It's this great organization that Michelle Obama was a part of. It's a leadership training position. I would be working with a local non-profit while being trained for leadership. Not sure if I'll be getting trained with swords but one can hope. This seems to be my best option at the moment. So we'll see. I'd be lucky to get it. They start interviewing in August.

I had been really creative lately. I've been painting and writing. Mostly just super inspired to be a way better version of myself. Not sure of the reason why but it's been there. This drive. I'm thankful for it. I'm thankful for all the experiences I have had in my life. Each one albeit too short sometimes (yesi'mtalkingaboutyou) has brought some type of emotion or feeling. I have learned from each of these things. Learned what I like, what I want, what I don't like, basically, what kind of person I am. More recently, a person who I won't name. We aren't friends anymore. We're not really much of anything anymore and that's okay. Because for the short time spent together, it was real. It was deep and it made me feel.I feel like light was brought back into my life. I became myself again. I feel like the jaded:cynical:distrusting version realized how real things can be. So, for that I can't be sad that it's over. Well that's a lie, one can't help but be sad. But I think the emotion I most feel is disappointment, I think of all the things we were going to do, the memories that we were going to create and realize that these won't happen now. It's finito and I wasn't ready for that. And I'm still not. But, how do you convince someone to like you again? I'll take the classy road. Is that the even right word?

Something I was working on that spurred from a conversation with AVN was about the death of a language. In particular our language. I didn't think that was possible but the examples I came up with as good books or writings were all almost at least 100 years old. And then I got to thinking of ways to describe how I was feeling with this new thing in my life and here's what I got...

Actually you know what, in spite of how I'm feeling today, I'm going to save this for another day. But it really is good. Take my word for it.

would you go along with someone like me?

I was running this morning and I saw a cat get run over. I'm not a fan of cats but it made me think of senseless untimely deaths and I think any death that happens as an accident is the worst. But also, while I was running I was thinking about my life in the past few weeks.

I've been so lucky to have the best friends a girl could ask for. I've got 3 here in Flooorida that would do anything for me. And I have one more in Armenia. We don't talk as much as we would like but that doesn't lessen our friendship by any means. But really, I am so lucky to have the people that I have in my life, in my life. I was talking to AVN about how it's rare to find people who just get you. The friends I keep are the ones that make my future book way cooler then it would be without them. It's my wish that everyone has that. Anyways, enough of how awesome the people that are in my life are. Just a shout out, they are! My family is also pretty wizard. The parental units and I definitely have our opinions but they come from such a good place that it's hard to stay mad at them. Co-existing in your parent's home after not living there for 6 years is difficult. Just a heads up to anyone who may not know how it is. :] But they've got my back through all my crazy antics so that's good.

This weekend has been great. It's been slightly balmy and lovely. Today is hot but yesterday was the perfect kind of weather. I am outside as I type this because the clouds are just pulling me out. Also another new obsession- LastFM. What a way cooler version of Pandora. It's pretty fab.

But these past few weeks have been perfection in their own little weird ways. The 19th was AVN's (almost put his real name) birthday. I tried to make it good. We went to Disney and indulged our 12 year old selves. We had a grand ole time. We also went to the beach on the Sat before that. I wanted to go before I realized he wasn't a super big fan of the ocean. (Oh Noes) But Disney was super fun. This week has also started me seeing what's out there in the job market because I'm donesies with my current position and I have a degree, time to be a grownup. I sent my resume to AppleOne, an employment agency. After I get a job, time to look for apts. And then after that, I am officially grown up. Maybe. Growing up is strange when you're not super self-sufficient yet. I can only imagine how nice it'll feel to be a functioning member of society. And so, I literally just got poured on. I love the erratic weather of Florida. I had to run in so my computer didn't die. All is well. I love lazy Sundays too. I've been going out a lot lately. I'm planning on being more of a homebody for the next few days or weeks. I think my credit card will also appreciate that. We're on speaking terms again. Tuesdays, Friday and Saturdays are my days to work. Yeah, I work the bare minimum but anyways, I want to go to my other obsession I Bar on Tuesday for Grits and Gravy night and literally for the entirety of my relationship with AVN, I have worked Tuesday nights. It's getting to be a joke. I'm not gonna ask for a morning shift because I want to see how long it will be until I work a morning shift. Oh life, overall, I can't complain. Just wish I was doing something with my life. I have this interesting quote that I think of when I get in that kind of dismal mood. "Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it." So, to the outsider, it may look like I have no drive and am not doing anything but really, I'm taking things day to day and preparing for a future. Maybe that's why I'm typically happy. Oh and one more quote. "We are always getting ready to live and never living" That's a gem, and how true it is. So I'll take my life day to day to avoid these things!

Okay, well enough about my life. I'm starting to feel narcissistic. Love to you all. Enjoy this Sunday unless you're at work making home made brownies that suck (which apparently is possible) <3

so now i'll take a chance on this thing we may have started..intentional or not. don't think we saw it coming

I know. I quoted Katy Perry, eh. What is the world coming to? But I happened to be running this morning and this song came on and it seemed apropos. Okay, I know, enough about AVN.

So here's what else is going on in my life. I feel so purposeless lately. I'm working retail in a costume, I'm not sure much could be worse. For right now, I've decided to start applying for jobs that I fit the criteria of. A lot of non-profit and governmental work. I'm pretty excited about a few of them but it's hard to be super excited when chances are, I won't even get called in for an interview. For whatever reason.I may be under qualified but my passion to help people and and my fire for a cause that I believe in would make up for any of that. But needless to say, no one gives me that chance. I actually just sent my resume to APPLEONE yesterday. They're an employment agency and I need the cash flow and a job that is challenging. They'll be getting in touch with me ASAP. (Oh and I don't think I got that job in event management, which I'm kind of glad about. I don't want to further myself in my current company. That being said, it would have been a fun and more lucrative job.) Unfortunately there is not much of a market here in Florida for anything I want to do, all directions point to either New York, California or DC. I definitely do not want to live in DC. The other two would be cool. But my life, my loves and my Florida is here. So I guess we'll see. Life always needs an adventure.

Speaking of adventure. I feel like in meeting AVN, I have become myself again. Before I was kind of drift less, boring, and filling the status quo (which is never fun). So, I guess thanks!

But, yeah, life has been pretty rad. *insert bouncing souls reference here*. I've been spending a lot of time with friends, new and old. I went thrifting yesterday and the day before and found some great finds. I'm still on the hunt for a used copy of Tropic of Cancer but that's part of the fun.

Eh, so much to my dismay, I'm still at home. But I just got my credit card statement and it's like wtf. Seriously I don't know how I spend all this money on things I don't need. Especially food. Like, really? I have a pantry and a private chef (WHY do I buy food?) Granted I did buy a guitar this period but still. It's okay, I'm just gonna have to keep on top of things. That's what she said!!! But really.
I have been up to a lot in the past month or so.
I've been running ( and now I'm up to 9lbs that I've lost.), I've started reading again. I found myself becoming ignorant and not being on top of the intellectual ball so I'm fixing that. I'm working on East of Eden. Great so far. I've started to listen to NPR again and reading the NY Times online. Because, again, I was falling short when it came to current events and I want to have opinion on things, not just based on what others think. Eh, and I've been drinking a lot lately. I get so enamored with getting tipsy for a small while and then I get done with it. I just think of what it is doing to my body. So, I'm done for a bit.

One thing though that I've given up is baking. I need start that up again. I think I will. Maybe I'll make a cake to bring to the beach tomorrow. I haven't been cooking either. Ai.

Went to the beach yesterday. I really love it there. There is nothing better then the shore. I love napping and listening to all that's around, people watching is at it's best, and I love swimming and frolicking in the surf.

Ran into Old Friend the other day. It was awkward. Especially since I didn't even recognize him at first. But coo.

Okay I have things to do. Going to 730 am yoga tomorrow before the beach. I need it. It's been a while. This is gonna be a good weekend!!!! hooray. hopefully with no money spending.!
keep up the good times champs!
<3

i feel it all..

What a dreadfully gloomy day. This weekend has been great. This week since Tuesday has been great. Today a little off but that's life. I just have people that I care about greatly that are going through things and I can't help but feel sadness for them. I empathize with their situations. And I hate that there is nothing that I can do to make anything better. But that's that. I won't make what they're going through about me. I'd hate to let my sentimentality force them into comforting me. Which obviously was never my intention. I hate when people make what other people are going through about them. So, anyways, today was kind of a bummer.

Went with AVN and Jilly to Kelly Park, Rock Springs. One of my absolute favorite places in the world. However, the weather decided to not cooperate. The water was closed when we first got there, so rather then pay to wait there, we went to a biker bar where we sat and thought with our beers in our hands. It was an interesting event. There were some red necks there, of course at 11:30am on Sunday morning. They were a little bit annoying. One of them made an off-hand comment about Mexicans. I just hate when people who don't know any better say comments that are offensive and typically have no backing. I know, we all make the occasional off-color remarks or jokes but that's around friends, not said loudly and obnoxiously. Well, anyways, it just really upsets me when people do things like that. Like, who do you think you are? I don't think anyone is better then anyone else and to say something, even in jest in front of people you don't know is just wrong. I really wanted to say something. But I didn't. Luckily enough though, they almost made up for their ignorance: They stopped us on our way out of the door. This gentlemen who was missing a few teeth said "Ya'll are new around here, aren't ya?" I answered him swiftly with "We've been here before" He then proceeds to go on about "safe nuts" and how we needed them. They were the best and local. So this gentleman goes out and comes back and he gives Jilly one of the nuts. He makes her crack it open and the shell goes everywhere... on the table instead of a nut was a condom!! Get it? A "safe nut". I could not stop laughing after that.
We left to go to the park. It was opened. We had to find the right spot to sit, there was some discerning opinions as to where we were going to sit, we eventually found the "right spot" I then jumped in while the other two, thought about it. I wouldn't and will still not admit it in person but it was beyond cold but sometimes it's so nice to have that jolt, that intense experience/sensation.

After 15-20 mins in the water, we all got kicked out due to lightning. We sat there for maybe 45 mins hoping they'd let us back in. They didn't so we left. It ended up being a big damper on the day.

But the rest of this week has been sublime. Tuesday I worked- LAME. Weds- I had a job interview with events and convention planning at a resort near me in the same company I'm working at now. Would be a good move, much better money, fun times and the chance to move out of my parent's home which is what I need to do. But it's still not what I want for all time. I want to make a difference for my job. I want my life to be worth something. All the other exciting times this week have been spent with AVN and it's been so wonderful. Everything has been happening so fast, and, I'll be honest, it's a little scary. But I'm not going to over-think things - It's just amazing how people can complicate things but over-thinking.

This weekend has been great. Jilly came for the weekend since I didn't have to work this weekend. Hung out with LyLy on Friday. Jilly and I spent the weekend just being lazy, going to the Enzian, getting into trouble, you know? The usual.

In other news, GO ESPANA!!!!

Life is good. I'm tired but things are good. <3

pitter patter goes my heart..

This week has been one for the books. Things are good. People in my family are healthy, I've lost 4 lbs in the past 2 weeks, my room has been constantly clean, I've been playing with my friends and I've met someone.

That someone, AVN has completely turned my world upside down. I think as we get older and we get hurt by others and we experience love in various forms, it's hard to not be jaded at all. I had given up looking for anything really. But there it was on the dance floor.
Now, I'm not saying I know our future. All I know is that I have a constant case of butterflies, I find myself with a grin on my face for no reason at all. I'm just an extra happy version of myself. I feel special again and yeah. I could probably talk about him for a while but I won't. I know how I feel and so does he and that's all that matters. I'm happy to see what each day will bring.

Monday, I went into downtown to see him and bake cakey cookies.. We did that amongst other things. Got coffee, snuggled on a green plush couch in a land of red sparkle blinds,and got a pretty wizard bumper sticker of Orlando. Afterwards, I met up with an old friend that I have recently connected with. Ly-Ly. I know I've mentioned her before. We had a falling out over things that were not important but now we in our grown-up versions, we are friends again and are getting along splendidly. I'm so happy to have her back in my life. She's great fun and good person. We went to see "El secreto de sus ojos" It won best foreign picture for the Academy Awards. What an intense movie and amazing. So pure and beautiful. I also got super excited for movies coming to the Enzian. In particular, Cyrus, Coco and Igor and MicMacs. Can not wait. We split a bottle of wine and in doing that got her a lil' drunk. So I drove. AVN was at his work party but I wanted to see him sooooo I texted him and asked if he wanted to get food with us. Picked up my hunk of a guy and bought vodka rather then food. AHHH. But it was okay. Went back to AVN's house and then he, I, Ly Ly and his room mate, we left for Tanqueray's, a place that steps down in the sidewalk that I've always wanted to go to. That's where I became a girlfriend. It basically went like this.

AVN: I'm so into you. I want you to be my girlfriend

Me: :surprised: umm. well. what?

And then I kissed him and said ok. Because after all, (pardon the vulgar saying) you just have to be balls out when you have the feelings, you can't always protect yourself, you know?

Well that's basically what happened. I wish you didn't know I had a blog, it makes it super awkward when I know you'll read this.

Anyways so that's that. Tomorrow, I'm going to find a job since I can't do anything this upcoming semester. I can't work where I'm currently working. It's way too much of a drag and I'm not pursuing the kind of hours I should be working because I hate it that much so I'm gonna do something about it.


But for now, it's bedtime for this lovely jobless girl. Need to keep up with the exercise. Goodnight blog people or really just my dad and sister in law. and maybe avn. <3

:swoooon:

Today is 4th of July. I feel so un-American sometimes because I feel we don't have much to be proud of. I have such a skewed view of what America is now. I'm not even sure what has brought that on. i guess it's not just America that I view in a negative light but more so, the world. I feel like there isn't so much goodness left. I wish in America people would just focus and love one another rather then worry about which celebrity cheated on their spouse with whom, how long they'll have to wait to get the I-Phone 4, or how much money they're going to make. I wish the focus was more on uniting under the America umbrella and help one another out. Never asking what am I going to get if I do this but just doing it because it's the right thing. I wish people didn't take fore granted that the only way I'm able to speak at all negatively of our nation is because of people who died for that right. People should stop focus on being Democrats or Republicans and just focus on being Americans and working together to do what's best for America not for individuals. I suppose I am too green in the ways of the world and overly sentimental but that's my wish this 4th of July....

So last Thursday my sissy and I went to the Black Kids. Great show. Their set was a little short but it was fun to dance. Afterwards, we decided to go to I-BAR. My sister is such a sport. She really is a great person. I know she had no desire to be there but she went because she knew how much I wanted to go. I hope I can be as selfless as she can be sometimes. So I danced and mingled and drank free PBR. My sister ended up sitting down and while she was sitting. I met someone. Someone who seems to rock my world so far. Even though it's only been 2 days. EEEk. But really, this character Armando Vladamir Nigel (AVN) is pretty swell. Gave him my number, figured we'd do the waiting game until he called or texted.
Long story short went on date with AVN last night...

Here's a recap- Malbec at newish bar, vodka tonic at Whiskey Lou's and then a dip in a fountain in Loch Haven Park and sitting and talking about anything and everything all at once under a moon. Lots of smiles. In other words, epic first date. No joke.


And now, I'm currently sitting in my bed updating listening to the UP soundtrack and waiting for mi Madre to finish our "brunch" which I suspect to be made up of all our favorite foods. My Dad usually does the cooking and it's delicious, the best, in fact. But, I love when my Mom does cook. It's so fun and lady-like the way she does it.

Life is good, it's filling up with great opportunities and happiness and consistency.

I hope it's the same for you guys too.

and so.. this is love..

I've really been on an amazing trip since I can remember. Even as a kid. It's been a trip that is helping me figure out who I am as a person. The kind of things that I want in my life. The things I don't. I'm figuring out which people are jewels in my life and others that are pains in my side. I'm seeing who people really are when no one's looking. It's unfortunate when those people who are supposed to be close to you end up being even more distant then a distant relative. I've seen good things in my life that I try to hold on until their time is up. I've seen bad things that have made me grow as a person. The thing I find most amazing is that at 23, I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Of course, I'd like to be a few pounds lighter but I've been running every day and eating more sensibly. It's working out. But really, I have never felt so real and happy with who I am as a person. I know that there are some people who judge me and think I'm childish and have their nose in my business (yes, it still bothers me a little) but I don't care anymore. I am who I am. I've become this person and all that matters is that I'm happy. I can only imagine how much more together I'll have it when I'm 33. I think age is a wonderful thing. And also one more shout out is to my family. As much as I complain about living at home (it's still a drag) they have been beyond amazing. Completely supportive but as parents should, they play devil's advocate and ask the hard questions about decisions. I have a sister who puts up with all my moods and is a completely lovely human being. I really am so lucky to have the Sartori clan in my corner. They get me out of tickets, buy me black and white cookies and go to indie rock shows.

I know, I go back and forth so much with the job/further school thing but I've finally figured out. At least for the next 3 years! :] Nursing school it is.
I'm going to do my prerequisites at a local community college and then to a 4 year for the actual program. Hopefully at FSU. I love Tallahassee. That's one place that I am so happy to have lived in. But if not, maybe a little more pragmatic, UCF. We'll see. I'll be able to take 4 prereqs this fall! And then it's only 5 more classes. I'm well on my way. I want to specialize with either handicapped children, children or elders. I have time to figure that out. It's funny, I can't see myself doing much of anything for the rest of my life but being a nurse is something I really envision myself doing. I honestly can't believe I didn't think of this sooner. I probably wouldn't have valued or taken it seriously. That's what I did with my first degree. Stupid 18 year olds. :] Like I said, I'm so happy to be 23.


So life is good. I feel comfortable and completely on top of things with school and I think it's going to be good. And I'll be able to keep working at least this semester at my current location. I may have to change my availability or go back to being seasonal next one but we'll cross the bridge when we get to it.


So, I know I mentioned I have a sissy that goes with me to indie rock shows. This Thursday, we're going to see the Black Kids. It should be a great show. Lots of dancing and goood music. Not much more I could ask for. If you haven't heard of them. Definitely check them out. Silly, fun, light music.

Well, it's time for this lovely jobless girl to get some rest. Waking up early can be difficult if I stay up late. And I have to keep being consistent with my running otherwise ALL is lost! Now, if only I could go to Yoga!

Hearts and happiness for you guys.

Oh and sorry for the beginning rant! <3

Does anyone still read this? If you do, leave a comment. I'm totally curious.

And away... we go...

So thing have been good. Not too much to report this week. Been working as little as possible. I know that's immature but I just can't bring myself to pick up more shifts and wear more stupid uniforms.Ah, this week, maybe I'll pick up some.

Life is good. I was just watching Away We Go. What an excellent movie. Long story short, it was about this couple who were about to have a child together finding out where they belong. It was really inspiring. However, I do have some sort of roots to Florida. I love it here. I really can't imagine living anywhere else. I am over Orlando. I want to be closer to the coast but I'm not sure I'll settle down anywhere other then hot,sticky,muggy,mosquito and tourist infested Florida.

I've been running everyday. I'm really proud of myself, I don't really commit well to anything. My habits are never constant but this is one for thing that I've really been committing to. Today, I'm going to be organizing my dressers(yes, plural, I have 2. They annoy me to no end) Hopefully, after I'll go to IKEA and get new knobs for the one. I wanted to spray paint one of them but my Mom had a fit.

Don't really have anything life changing to add. I go to a nursing school orientation on the 29th and I'm going to a concert on July 1st. It's the Black Kids and they're playing at the Social. Should be fun! Enjoy a lazy Sunday with people you love. :]

ramblings from my disjointed thought process...

So, again I've been such a bad blogger. And I wish I could offer up a better excuse but really, there is no good excuse. I've been in a malaise. In other words, I've been lazy. It's amazing how things become such habit. In fact, the sad part about my not updating the blog is not because I haven't been on but more because I was wasting my life. I feel that is the greatest offence to the lives that we are given, to merely survive and not live. Just the thought makes me shudder. And the whole month of June even though the weather is lovely and hot, I've been so down and lackadaisical. But within the last 2 weeks, that's started to turn around.

I've started running almost every day. Let me tell you, as much as it may seem like it's a drag, it's the best thing I could have done for myself at the moment. It's something I completely control. I'm waking up early in the morning to do it before it gets too hot and therefore am not sleeping in late. I've been eating better. And not only am I feeling better but I'm losing weight. On a slight tangent, I have to add that I've been using Crest 3D white-strips. The effects are A-mazing.. I am completely surprised.

Today is Father's Day. I have to admit, my dear ole' Pops gets on my nerves to no end but let me tell you, that man has love for all of us. I think the reason he does what he does is so we don't forget about him. Like we ever could. But I think that's what it is, to feel he is still part of the game plan. Let me just give you an example of the most recent things he's done to protect one of us.

I got a ticket from Orlando Stops. If you don't know what that is, it's complete bullshit. It's a private company that likes to collect for the city of Orlando for people who run the light. Now, that's fine but there are things that a computer can't take into consideration, like the fact that 2 parades were going on therefore many streets were closed. That being said, there were cops down the entire street I was driving down had Orange County Deputies were on each corner waving people through. So, a week after that happened I received a ticket in the mail. I was furious. I called the Police Dept. and found out what their men were out there for. I found out and I appealed my ticket. I was told I still had to come in for court. So 2 months later, I went into court to plead my case. (I can't believe that our tax payers money pay for this nonsense, especially since the first lady said she had never done it before and that the ticket was a lesson to her. She said that since then, she wasn't going to be running any more lights ever. I could not believe this lady had the gall to stand before the judge to say that. Needless to say, she was told that they can't make an exception for her.)

When it was my turn, I had all my paper work together. Also the papers about the parades going on. There was an OPD officer who was there to testify if needed. He apparently needed to jump in to tell me that there was no police officer there. I told him the officer was there was from the Sheriff's Dept not OPD. He still insisted that there was no officer there. The hearing judge was just about to tell me that she also couldn't make an exception for me until my Pop popped up and asked if he could speak. The hearing officer- being a real smartass said "were you there?" And my Dad said "No, but the car's in my name" And he was off, I was mortified. I thought punches were going to fly between Deputy Dickwad and my Dad. So instead of having to pay $155.00 (rightfully so) I received a letter in the mail a day after waiving my fee. I was so glad. The real reason why I didn't have to pay was because of my Dad. Plain and simple. As mortified as I was, it's nice to have someone have your back so much.


So since the last time I blogged I've been on a few job interviews. Been offered positions. However, long story short, after much deliberation. I've decided to go back to school to become an RN. Now, this was just figured out today, so I don't have all the details but I know that I don't want to work as an atypical nurse in a hospital/Dr's office. I want to work with either handicapped children or elders in a rehabilitation sense. I want to help these people grow. I feel like that would be the most rewarding thing for me personally. But I'm willing to work my way there. I've already made an appt with Valencia to see what I can do. However, I'm under the impression that at age 24, I would qualify for free education from Obama-man, seeing as I have no viable income to speak of. Who knew that would come to help me in the long run. So I may just go to UCF or other 4 year institution. I'll have to see what works better for me and get all the details.

After my court day, I bought a new guitar seeing as my blue one from Armenia was only capable of producing good firewood. I've been teaching myself that but I'm going to go to a couple of classes to learn how to read tablature properly. And I'm going to take Spanish classes.

So long story short, life is good. It's becoming more and more real and grown up and I'm happy to finally have that!

Keep the smiles on your face. Release endorphins and love one another.

just go with the seasons...

I know, I've been a terrible blogger. And the thing is, I've had lots of things on my mind. I just haven't taken the time to sit and write these thoughts. Today though, has reminded of the the broad spectrum of emotions. I'm in the lows today. I had almost forgotten them. I won't dwell on the low-points in life because it is fleeting. (let's hope so) It seems though, that the only thing my brain wants to do is sit around and do nothing but then I obsess in my head about how I am not doing anything and then I get uneasy and it's just a terrible cycle but it is what makes me, me. So, I will sit around and watch bad television and divulge my inner need to do nothing at least until I have to go to work. The thing is it's not laziness. I want to get up, put on some real clothes and do work, or go for a run or be creative but I just can't. It's amazing for as advanced as we are, we are just a slave to our emotions. And we always will be. I just wish I knew why it comes around.

And then it pours down rain in the sun; in the middle of the afternoon; with hundreds of white puffy clouds in the background.

Ah, enough about that. So, I had the interview in Tampa. I'm pretty sure I secured a second interview. Also, through another friend in Tampa, have another job interview which would be excellent money. But then, here in my current job, I was approached by the head of catering and conventions to a possible position in the conventions arena. I would be working with people and setting up things from the transportation to the food, to the venue, basically taking care of these guests' needs. Something that although isn't helping the world would be really interesting and fun and most importantly creative. So now, I'm torn as to what would truly be the best move for me. I know the right one will come to me. But for right now, this need to find a job and be so ordinary is kinda slightly killing me. I wish I could just go off in search of something. I don't even know what I would be looking for but what I do know is that I need to explore. Cursory glance to my life, I have all that I need. But, still, there is something missing. Maybe one day this thirst will vanish and I can be okay with living an average life because after all, life is what we make it and I think that no matter how "average" my life is, I doubt I'll let it ever be average but I don't want to be delusional either. :]

Oh life, And now the sun is shinning even brighter as if to say "eff you rain, I'm much better then you"

My life since May 19, has been great. Hanging out with good friends.
Saw SATC 2 with Nick.
Overall, life's been swell.

Ok, I'm going to continue laying around. Hopefully no one will bother me. I'll blog a more sunny version of myself soon!

<3

oh life.. you trickster...

I have come to a conclusion. Life is not nearly as difficult as it masquerades to be. I think it's us that make it difficult. We don't take things as they come and look too far to the future rather then living in the moment. I haven't been doing that but in living day to day. I forget about what I really want. Even though I'm not entirely sure of what that is yet. I'm just certain of what I don't want.


My parents have been in California and my sister typically works nights so I've been alone and as much as I want to live alone. It's hard to do when you don't have a real life around the area you grew up. I'm starting to make friends but everyone has different schedules. Needless to say I've been a bump on a log. Sucked into the whole of facebook, not exercising, not even getting dressed unless I have something to do, not going to yoga blah blah blah. It's amazing how having nothing to do can mess up your life/world. There are only so many things you can do alone before it becomes a drag. But I'm gonna change that all today. So what I'm alone. I love living alone, I can do what I want.

That being said, found a great new lounge/bakery/hookah place. It was reasonable and really fun. Now I know one place I'll be spending more time at.

And even more exciting. Have a job interview June 1st in Tampa for a job that would actually be challenging and a step in the right direction. And it has a real salary. I'd be like a real person/grown up!!! And I'd move in with my lovely Jilly- what could be better?

Well that's enough for today, gonna go enjoy the day. Making dinner tonight for the sis-a-licious tonight!

<3

we are far too young and clever....

So, today has been a great day! Currently listening to Verdi. If you have not discovered the love that is Verdi. Please do so. Some of the most intensely epic sounding music! Guaranteed to inspire of the lowliest of creatures!

Just got done with like 4 hours of yard work and decided to update this before my next errand with my Pops! It's such a lovely day out- the wind is blowing slightly and it's the type of hotness where sweat just pours out of you. I love it. Call me stupid- but I feel like every time I sweat a lot, the toxins and bad things in my body just sweat out. In my case (vodka tonics from last night)! :]

Since I've updated, life has only kept on the positive track that it's been on. It's kind of frightening because (in my life) typically when life is on such a positive track, there is bound to be a downward spiral to even things out. I always fly high, hit rock bottom, fly high, etc etc etc. There is hardly ever in between and I wouldn't want it any other way. Living day to day really is the way to do it. I feel it minimizes stress and helps you to enjoy living in the moment which I think we are guilty of letting it get away from us. Ok, enough about my philosophies of life.

Ah, there is something that I've missed. Philosophy. I really need to start reading again. If anyone could suggest a certain writer or document, I'd be much obliged. I'm curious to read from any movement, I'm not picky. Being out of school is odd. I feel myself get a little more stupid with each passing day. I need to be constantly learning. Otherwise what is life? I feel it is such a dangerous thing to just exist. Indifference is the breeding ground for a lifeless life. Ah, to me, that is the scariest thing one's life can become. Okay, really now that is quite enough! :]

I know this post like probably most of them will just be a jumbling of my thoughts thrown together in sub-par sentences. I just am loving the life that is unfolding before me, I wish I could say I had more to do with it but it's just one of those things that is happening.

Well, remember that job I applied for in the Everglades? I GOT IT!!!! But, I turned it down. I know I said that for me living day to day is the best way and it is but sometimes you have to make that hard decision. The one is isn't as much fun as you would want your life to be. I turned it down because I already have a job that doesn't do much for my future. Why would I leave my life here to do something that really wouldn't be anything other then fun? Ahhh, it was a really hard move to make but I know it was the right thing to do. With that being said, I've gotten serious about the job hunt with my current degree. I looked into nutrition programs here in Florida and there are really only continuing education programs. No graduate programs or even undergraduate. (Can a person have 2 undergraduate degrees???) I'm so hesitant to go back to school anyways. So maybe this is for the best. And I'm only applying for jobs that would be relatively enjoyable and would be good fits for me and have real salaries. LinkedIn is a great website and tool for job seekers.

This week again has flown by. Hanging out more and more with O.F. He makes me pretty damn happy. It's really good what we've got going on!

Speaking of old friends. I have recently reconnected with a very sweet girl from my past. We were best friends in high school and part of college but as many of these stories go, we were too immature to remain good friends. We had a falling out but now, it's all different. We've started to reconnect and I am more then happy to say that we have regained our friendship and it is no longer a thing of our past. We hung out on Monday, got yogurt and dinner and decided it was safe to take our friendship to the "next level". We spent the whole day together at the beach. It was so much fun. What a great time we had. We hung out with her friend also!
Afterwards, O.F and I grabbed some dinner and had a wonderful time at Urban Flats. What a good fun place.

I'm not going to recap my entire life for the past week but suffice it to say that it's been good and that my Mama had a great Mother's Day.


Life is good...

Smile, it's a way to fool yourself into thinking you're truly happy.

<3

back in the swing of living, even though i might not be on the right track

Man, I feel like life has been going at a breakneck speed. I have to say though, that, I don't mind. Things have just been so good. The weather is finally starting to swelter and I couldn't be happier. I'm really starting to live a life that is good and just full of life. I just wish I were more consistent with things sometimes. Like my art, running and just keeping up with chores around the house. But I'm slowly but surely getting there. My next step is to ween myself off the internet. It's amazing how these modern conveniences can become such a life sucker (for lack of a better word)

Last weekend, I went to Tampa to see the love of my life- Jilly. She is such an amazing person, we lesbian gush about each other all the time. We really are 2 peas in a pod and partners in crime. We're like 13 year old little girls sometimes especially when it comes to my crushes and silly boys that are in my life. It's entertaining to say the least. Ok- done gushing.

So went to Tampa, to check out the Jimmy Buffett tailgate shindig. It was really interesting, what an assortment of people. Young, old, hip, surferish, rich, poor and a whole bevy of other commonplace adjectives. People were definitely enjoying life and letting their freak flags fly- I felt at home. We hung our with her beau's cousin. Was excited to see O.F, didn't happen. He passed out. Haha, how endearing, right?

Afterwards, I was a bit tight and we were starving. We went to Macaroni Grille who has THE best Caesar Salad sans dressing. (I never eat dressing except on occassion) I sobered up a bit but apparently not enough to make plans with an old flame of mine who lives in neighboring podunk city. Needless to say I sobered up when we got to her house and he was there. He's a lovely soul, we just don't work. Thank God, we're on the same page though about "our future". Otherwise that night could have been terrible and Jilly likes him a lot too, so it overall a winner. We drove around bar hopped, didn't drink a thing anywhere and just laughed and danced. Then we decided at about 1 am to go to the beach. We ended up not getting all the way down there, we were done. Jilly and I fell asleep in our poor friend's red car. He delivered us safe and sound to Jilly's. We went to sleep because we knew we were getting up early to go paddle boarding.

Missy, Jilly's friend (what's with the "y's" at the end of people's names? The guy friend from last night was Nicky= ahh. these names are all too cutesy) What a cool girl though, really chill and down to earth. I liked her almost immediately. We went to the ocean and did our thing and bonded and then headed over to Crabby Bills for a pina colada. We were in the beachy state of mind. It was great. We all got along so well, which is always nice. We hung out for a bit and then the heavens decided to open up and poor their love on us. After Missy dropped us off, Jilly's flooded bathroom decided that it was time for me to go home and I got to see O.F. I had such a stellar time. We watched Avatar and then sat out in the dark and watched the lighting which was better then any movie. It's so nice to have new friends and have intense times together.

Monday, I honestly can't tell you what I did but I know I had fun. I did have Spanish class which was nice. Oh wait, I do remember, went canoeing down O.F's river behind his house then just chilled on the dock and saw snakes, played a game and contemplated jumping in the water and went 4-wheeling for the first time. It was great.

Tuesday I went down to the Everglades for a job interview. It was beyond amazing. I went to the ocean, chilled with some really cool people that worked at the hotel. They were the exact kind of people that I thought would have been in the Peace Corps. Really chill and down to Earth people. This was after my interview. Had some Miller High Life beers, it's actually written the "Champagne of Beers" on the can. It was pretty ridiculous and I couldn't stop laughing about it. But yeah, met this really cool guy. It was a total legit kind of night. It was good to meet such a cool person on my trip down here. Did some hiking and had the most amazing veggie burger ever. EVER. It consisted of potatoes, lentils, barley, mushrooms, lima beans and peas.

Left Wednesday morning to come home. The rest of Wednesday and Thursday were really chill. Friday was good, had work and then went to celebrate a good friend's birthday. It was soo good to see them! Had a good time. However, at around 1:30 am, I get a text from mi madre saying, you know you work at 8am, right? Long story short, I thought I was working at 5 pm. I hurried my cute little butt home. Went to work on Saturday. After, headed to a O'Charleys for some cheap margaritas. It was a good night, we chilled on the porch and drank margaritas and had a humongous Caesar salad. Our waiter was super cool too which made the night even better.


Today was a great day, went to a Yoga intentions class. It really opened up my eyes to what I want to do with my life. It was really amazing. Opened my eyes to what I want out of my life and to the interconnectivity of all living things in the world. It was very Pandora (Avatar) of the class.

Tomorrow I will be calling UCF. I have decided to pursue a nutrition degree, so we'll see where that goes.

Remember to love one another. If one living thing is unhappy, then no one can truly be happy.


<3

So go out and enjoy your lives!!!!