Scouring the internets to find the most apropos quote about love and life for this blog entry title and alas, I am not alone. There are literally millions of people searching for the same thing. It's curious as to why they're looking for love quotes. I've found the proverbial "find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot" bullshit, the quote from James Earl Jones.. (wtf) Why would Darth Vadar have an opinion on the matter? It's amazing how many of these anonymous love quotes are so completely vapid. I am listening to the most sentimental and hokey of love songs and they put me in this sugary state.
It's amazing how much people impact us in our lives. You don't really realize how you are, no matter how much self-reflection you do until you have someone who will call your bluff. Someone who will push you and force you to take a good hard look at yourself. And even though you may fight (everyone fights) you realize that, you will try your damnedest to not do that in the future. You will fight in the future but at least you can be reassured that you will not carry on past transgressions and bad habits. Now, no one is perfect, and of this I'm sure.
So, as I was saying, something I realized that I do, I set boyfriends up for failure. Let me explain. Long story short, I had been so used to be getting mad at a certain 5 year-er that I wouldn't create an opportunity for him to do things right by me. That's something that apparently has carried on into my current relationship. What an awful habit. To not even allow someone the chance to make me happy. And then, get upset when they (as I forced to happen) don't make me happy. Granted, I don't do it all the time but one time is one time too many. It's completely psychotic!
Well, enough about that. I've realized what I was doing and it ends here. Life doesn't have to be as difficult as we make it.
On top of everything, I start teaching this month. I'm beyond excited. It will be nice to have more then 1 day a week of work. And instead of waiting for things to "turn around" I'm letting them come one day at a time. Having this job will help with that. It's a start.
This weekend was so nice. I got to see my Jilly. It's always nice to have reassurance about your being from someone you love so dearly. And it's nice to see a friend living and loving their life so much. It fills me with this sense of happiness. I feel like all the drama and such that my family and some friends have been going through start to clear up. I hope it does for good. Everyone deserves their own happiness.
I hope you all enjoy the delicious start to Spring.
