the past is beautiful... like the darkness between the fireflies.

Scouring the internets to find the most apropos quote about love and life for this blog entry title and alas, I am not alone. There are literally millions of people searching for the same thing. It's curious as to why they're looking for love quotes. I've found the proverbial "find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot" bullshit, the quote from James Earl Jones.. (wtf) Why would Darth Vadar have an opinion on the matter? It's amazing how many of these anonymous love quotes are so completely vapid. I am listening to the most sentimental and hokey of love songs and they put me in this sugary state.

It's amazing how much people impact us in our lives. You don't really realize how you are, no matter how much self-reflection you do until you have someone who will call your bluff. Someone who will push you and force you to take a good hard look at yourself. And even though you may fight (everyone fights) you realize that, you will try your damnedest to not do that in the future. You will fight in the future but at least you can be reassured that you will not carry on past transgressions and bad habits. Now, no one is perfect, and of this I'm sure.

So, as I was saying, something I realized that I do, I set boyfriends up for failure. Let me explain. Long story short, I had been so used to be getting mad at a certain 5 year-er that I wouldn't create an opportunity for him to do things right by me. That's something that apparently has carried on into my current relationship. What an awful habit. To not even allow someone the chance to make me happy. And then, get upset when they (as I forced to happen) don't make me happy. Granted, I don't do it all the time but one time is one time too many. It's completely psychotic!

Well, enough about that. I've realized what I was doing and it ends here. Life doesn't have to be as difficult as we make it.

On top of everything, I start teaching this month. I'm beyond excited. It will be nice to have more then 1 day a week of work. And instead of waiting for things to "turn around" I'm letting them come one day at a time. Having this job will help with that. It's a start.

This weekend was so nice. I got to see my Jilly. It's always nice to have reassurance about your being from someone you love so dearly. And it's nice to see a friend living and loving their life so much. It fills me with this sense of happiness. I feel like all the drama and such that my family and some friends have been going through start to clear up. I hope it does for good. Everyone deserves their own happiness.

I hope you all enjoy the delicious start to Spring.

so happy, my body can barely contain it.

I woke up from a bad dream about my beloved and somehow this has turned into yet another amazing day. And it's only 8:42. I have to leave for work in 18 minutes but none of that matters. For, things are good. I'm living a healthy life. I have someone who pushes me to be better all while being who he is(which adds to my happiness), I have an amazing family and friends, My best- Jilly is engaged.! They are such an amazing couple and are so right together that it makes me insanely happy. I'm her maid of honor. I have video games. I don't have enough money in my bank account but somehow it's all okay. It's all turning around. This next part of my life is going to be good. I made a stellar cake even though I put too much spice in it. I know better for next time.

And that is all. Sunday, I'm sure I'll update for realsies!

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop.

I know, it's been almost 2 months since I've updated an although I'm sure there is few that have missed it, I have missed it. I just haven't felt like any of my thoughts were good enough to share. Essentially, it's the same old same old. ::Whine whine whine no job, hate my current job, no direction in my life, no purpose::: Now, who, honestly wants to read that nonsense again?

Life has been settling in an odd way. New relationships have a tendency to shake your world up. The realness is finally settling in. And it's welcomed but also a little daunting. I guess it's been a while. It's odd to have someone who doesn't accept my line of bullshit.

Still at my most amazing-est job. Please detect the sarcasm. But it's cool. I've been in a rut and like the title of this post, that's what I've been doing. Chasing after every little fancy. I am still working towards the teaching career but there aren't any jobs at the moment. :/ Seems my luck in life. When one thing starts to go swimmingly and lovely, another takes backseat. But really, I've been in a rut. Running around and such. I have been creating some amazing memories with aforementioned new person in my life. We'll call him Wyatt because referring to him as him, is a little too God-like for me. And I've been having good times with good friends. I've never had such a good set of friends. So at least my social life is wizard right now. The job will come. I've finally got that fire under my...a..ss, so it'll happen. Sooner rather than later..

Oddly enough, I've actually been looking at grad schools. But I'm not sure that anything I would want to do would get me a job. So we'll see.

Life is real, right now. Things are happening the way they're supposed to. I have a new member of the family. Thaddeus the great! He's a crab and completely adorable.

So, I apologize for this foray back into the world of blogging. It's been a while. Wittier and snarkier Victoria will be back soon!


Enjoy this lovely Sunday. It honestly couldn't be better. Actually, lie... I could be at the beach with Wyatt. Or Baby Girl, Jilly, Ly Ly or Nisey. Or a group of people. Only thing consistent is that it could be better if I was at the beach. Or had a real job or was baking right now instead of job hunting.

But really, it's lovely. And although things could be a little better, they're still stellar!