....your sex karma must be good, 'cause i'm funny for you....

Merry Christmas, I hope this holiday season has been all you've wanted it to be. A lot of times when I come to a certain conclusions and I stop "searching" for whatever it is that I'm searching for. It comes and find me. It never ceases to amaze me though. Every time I think I have a handle on what's going on in my life, life has other plans. I wouldn't really want it any other way though. To think that I or anyone else ever thinks themselves "smart" enough to figure out life really just makes us vain.

That being said, I was so lazy today, I didn't get out of my p.js until well after dinner BUT I changed after that and went for an epic run. The weather here has become freezing again. In the 30's. Yes, I am turning into one of those crazy runner people. i have decided with the new year that I will be a runner for realsies. I will run even more frequently and for longer distances. Today it went up to a little past 3 miles. And in these conditions, that's pretty phenomenal. I just had a lot of time to think about things today. And I'm going to start doing things rather then just talk about them. This new year couldn't come at a better frame of mind/time of my life. I'm always overly-sentimental and thoughtful during the holiday season. It's impossible for me to not be. I just feel it all. I think of all that I have, of all I have had and about what goes on in the world. I feel so helpless when I think of things that I can't change but I try to not be upset because I do what I can. And I'm eliminating drama from my life. I have no room for it in my life. I am lucky and blessed in the way that the cards fell in my life, so I refuse to put up with others' drama. For me, life is not as difficult or tricky as people pretend it to be. And I'm glad that, that is my perspective.

I'm also going to start volunteering more frequently. Not just around the holiday seasons. But during the rest of the year when we all forget about goodwill towards others. I want to help in our country. It's absolutely disgusting that we help so many other places when there are still people in our "glorious" country that are suffering the same as those in other countries. Only when we have reached the highest plateau that we can reach, should we help others. It's not that I think we should say screw other places. I mean, I do truly have a bleeding heart but it's so haughty to not help ourselves first. What makes us qualified to help others before our own? I don't know, just some things I've been thinking about lately. I mean, I think everyone should be guaranteed the basic rights of life. But, unfortunately, we don't live in a world like that. :[ And I hurt that I can't change that. Enough ranting. I see both sides of this argument so it doesn't make for a particularly convincing/interesting paragraph.

This holiday season has been so good. I was feeling like a Charlie Brown. But, all of sudden, after a late night drive like 2 weeks ago, it all changed. And now, I am sad to see it go. I've also been really inspired by frugality of people that I have been reading about people who live off of less then half of what they make. They give the rest to charities. If they can live that way, I can too. And once I start having a real salary, it'll be even easier and will make me feel better about what I'm putting out into the universe. But this year has been even more special because I was home after being away for last Christmas. I am just so lucky to be home, have the family and friends that I have in my life. I'm also glad that commercialism did not take over my life. Granted, I don't make enough to have bought into it but, regardless, I didn't do it. And I'm still taking the FTCE in January, so that will hopefully bring me closer to a real job. Who knows? A lot of things are up in the air right now. I'll have to sit tight until things materialize.

These past 2 weeks have been something else which is why I haven't really be updating. I met someone 2 weeks ago. It's been a whirlwind and has added to my already existing happiness. Not to throw a platitude in here but... We are 2 peas in a pod and that's all I'm gonna say about that. I'm going to stop being so talky about certain things. Maybe, this is growing up? Maybe it's not. Maybe I'm just being weird. Regardless, that's all I have to say about that. Not to quote Forrest Gump.

So, things are good. Life is great. I'm on the right track. <3 Going back to Charlie Brown now.

all you need is love.

It's amazing how such a seemingly-simple homespun philosophy can be missed by entirely. It's meaning can be lost upon so many individuals and it makes me sad for them. I really believe life is only as good or bad as we choose/want it to be. Yes, some people are luckier then others. I think the luck is the people who take the time to look around and appreciate the small things, children laughing, first kisses, warm desserts on cold days. And that despite the fact that I don't feel particularly proud of our country most of the time, it is still a better place to live then most other places. Perhaps, our quality of life is not as high as it should be. But, the mere fact that I am able to say any of this and not be imprisoned is a pretty phenomenal thing. But this entry is not about America. This is about the things people miss when they're too busy feeling awful and feeling sorry for themselves. Everyone has a light inside of them. And the only people that deserve to witness that light, are the ones that are like electricity to us. The ones that don't light us up are not worth stories in our life.

Time is short and so we shouldn't waste time with people that won't make our lives better or at least more interesting. There are so many people in the world. Everyone can light up someone else's light. So you should set them free so they're able to do that for another. Despite this whole rant, I'm still sad for a certain ending. I was really beginning to be patient and was giving up some of my intensity. But that's dangerous territory. When you start to give up little parts of you, that person or thing should also be giving up something. It's unfair to be one-sided and does not have lasting power. Ok- enough talking about boys.

I registered to take the FTCE exams. I registered for three of them and I'll be taking those in January. I have the best boss at work, she really worked with me for the Christmas vacation. So I'll be off 23rd-25th at least. Actually through the 27th because Sunday and Monday are my days off anyways. So, I'll be able to spend time with family. She really is the best supervisor. She works with all of us and tries to make us all happy. That's a true first for the bosses that typically work at my company. So thank you S.

And even more exciting, I just got back from NOLA with my sister. What an amazing trip. All the history, the freeness, the spirituality, the Mississippi River, the food, the booze, oh and the cast of Twilight ftw. :P It was really an amazing city. It had such history and superstition attached to it. I was over Bourbon street after the first day but the NOLA, itself, I could have stayed a bit longer. It was a great time had with Nisey. This was our first trip together and it was a success, although, we swore it would be our last trip together ever a few times. :]

Anyways, I need to go finish studying the math section for the GK.

Love the dreary Sunday weather, hope it brings you all you want today.