I've been so erratic with this blogging. I apologize. It's not even that I don't have things to write about, I just haven't. But that's all changing now. As I write this, there is a slight breeze through my open window- my sheer pink curtains blowing in and out, the smell of pumpkin spice in my room,a hot cup of silver needle tea and some birdies playing in the tree out in front of my window. I just took an hour long bath while listening to the top 40 countdown. I haven't took that long of a bath in ages and I haven't listened to the countdown since Casey Kasem did it.
Life has been surprising, and good.
Today, I'm still getting over being sick. But I beat it to the punch. I took good care of myself and as a result have had a speedy recovery.!
It's been a whirlwind tour of friends visiting and just living. Ly Ly essentially lives at my house. It's nice to have a new sister! My Nisey, (real sister) has a broken foot and consequently has to wear this awful air cast thing. She's recovering but tells everyone it's my fault. It most assuredly was not. She tells them though that I ran her foot over with a shopping cart. I grazed her foot and she is just delusional.
Recently my Jilly came to visit. As always it was so nice to visit. It was a little off though and I wondered about it. And I finally figured it out. We're at total different points in our lives and as a result we're just having a bit of a disconnect. However, unlike our friendship, it won't last forever. All relationships go through things. And at the risk of sounding sappy, we love and appreciate one another for who we are so I know we'll still be friends once this aberration is over.
Been seeing a lot more of Baby Girl. However, due to my recent bout of illness, I'm back to my ole tricks again of canceling on her. At least it was a for real reason.
I'm still single and mingling. I still have yet to meet someone offline. Yes, I'll admit it. I've joined an online dating website. Apparently it's what the cool kids are doing. All my closet friends, have made one. I just feel like it's so inorganic. But I have been meeting people in real life. They've been surprising and I'm enjoying it. I've never really just dated. I get so excited and happy with someone that I typically jump into a relationship with people.
I think the problem with me not finding the right guy or the right job are the same reasons. Rather then focusing on the type of job or guy I want. I'm focusing on the now. I prefer it this was because rather then looking at the end result, I'm enjoying my now. I know it won't last forever. I know eventually some job and guy will tie me down and I'm okay with that but I'm enjoying just drifting at the moment. I just hope I won't be sucked into a life of endless drifting. Eventually I'd like to have a real job and a real guy. I think another problem of living and floating in the now is that, for me, I have no idea what would make me happy, in a job or a guy. I have intangible ideas. I want to be happy, I want to have a meaningful job, I want to have depth with a guy, I want a decent guy, I want to help people, I think I'd like to work with kids, I want warmth, No ickiness and none of what I've had in the past. Well, at least with respect to guys.
I try not to make that the focus of my life though. I just try to be an on the level type of girl. I know eventually all that will come into my life when it's time. I try to live a life of balance of my body, mind and soul. It's working, I think. I'm eating healthier then usual, still running, doing yoga, praying and meditating, and taking care of the people I love. That gives my life a little fulfillment and purpose.
This Sunday is the reason I know there is something above us. Life is what it is and it's good.
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