I've been extra kind to myself this week. In the shape of eating bad foods, exercising, doing face masks, spending time with the boy from law school and nurturing my thoughts and body as I go through the healing process.
Despite all this, it's been getting easier to smile through the grief. Especially when I remind myself that I was pregnant and even though it wasn't meant to be. The fact that I got pregnant is beyond beautiful. And although I didn't like the outcome, it's incredible that my body knew what was best and for that I am grateful. When I reframe things, I see how much I have in my life to be grateful for.
I am still on the path to that 365 day Happiness Challenge. Since I last posted, I have now done
- Day 5 - wrote a letter to my future self.
- I decided to have my mom mail it to me end of next September. I thought this one would be particularly good for me. Carthartic. I keep reminding myself that I don't want to be let down next year by the goals I had set out for myself. So I keep plugging on.
- Day 6 - Stayed off social media all day
- I chose this one because I have been on my phone entirely too much. It's crazy how much stress we create in our own life by seemingly innocent means. I can not tell you how many times I went to check Instagram. It's embarrassing. Since I did this, I am making a more conscious effort to be present and off my phone and fall in love with the world again.
- Day 7 - Listen to a podcast about something that interests you
- This one was different, I'm not a podcast person. Or a talk radio person. Or a stand up comedy person. I pretty much hate when people talk at me and aren't sincere in what they're saying. I know Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey from the Office were starting a podcast soon about the show. The Office Ladies Which, not sure I've mentioned this but it's embarassing how many times I have seen the entire series. It's probably well on its way to a 100. There is something about that show that is comforting and cozy. If the Hygge movement had a show, for me it would be the Office. I have bonded with the boy from law school over it. I have bonded with my Pop over it. It kept me company when I lived in Armenia and Tallahassee. Pretty much has always been a part of my adult life and it will never not be that way. I think I could write an entire blog as to why I love that show. I won't. But just know that I could. Back to the podcast issue. Their podcast was not coming out until October 16. SO couldn't do that one.
- So, I Googled best podcasts and came across Mobituaries, hosted by Mo Rocca. Mobituries Podcast And I love learning about noteworthy people and this particular podcast follows stories of noteworthy dead people. And wouldn't you know, one of his latest episodes was about Audrey Hepburn. She was my first girl love. The first woman that truly inspired me into the adult woman I became. My love for her was still there but buried in my heart as there are only so many times you can rewatch Breakfast at Tiffanys etc. So, I thought what a great podcast for me to listen to. And let me tell you, it was. Mo Rocca has a really reverent way of speaking about her and had so many obscure little interviews she did that I had never heard and let me tell you, I've read every book on her and seen every biographical documentary or made for TV movie about her.
- In Particular, it was her first American television appearance in 1951. She is starring on Broadway. And she is recounting a Christmas spent in hiding from the Nazis in Holland during WW2 and she talks about how they had run out of food and then on Christmas Eve night, the Dutch resistance brought her and her family 10 potatoes. She recounts "10 glorious potatoes" It brought a slight tear to my eye to think of the trauma she and so many voiceless, countless people at the hands of those monsters.
- So, needless to say, this podcast ignited that fierce love I had for her when I was 15. I can't tell you how many times I made my parents watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. I can even remember for my 16th birthday, getting a box set of her movies. So, now this love of everything Audrey has spilled over to being kinder than necessary like I believe she behaved in real life and even into my makeup routine. Doing those Audrey Hepburn eyes. Rumour has it, her makeup artist would separate her eyelashes with a safety pin. Bette Davis may have had a song about her eyes but Audrey's eyes....
- The Boy from law school has been a willing participant in watching all of Audrey's movies. Thus far, he's liked them all. Which makes my heart happy.
- Day 8 - Watch a funny video on Youtube
- I think I almost peed myself, I laughed so hard.
- Day 9 - Play cards
- Tonight, the Boy from law school and I will play Mille Bornes. A fun French card game from my childhood. The cards are from the 60s. They were my parents and we used to play all the time. I have already prepped the Boy from law school.
So, based on the verbosity of this blog, I think you can see, mentally I am healing and well on the road of making this year the best.
Love and Lightness to you all. Hope you're enjoying the coziness of Fall and your loved ones.
That boy from law school sounds like a really cool guy
ReplyDeleteI love that you read my blog today. <3
Delete