Thursday, June 3, 2010

just go with the seasons...

I know, I've been a terrible blogger. And the thing is, I've had lots of things on my mind. I just haven't taken the time to sit and write these thoughts. Today though, has reminded of the the broad spectrum of emotions. I'm in the lows today. I had almost forgotten them. I won't dwell on the low-points in life because it is fleeting. (let's hope so) It seems though, that the only thing my brain wants to do is sit around and do nothing but then I obsess in my head about how I am not doing anything and then I get uneasy and it's just a terrible cycle but it is what makes me, me. So, I will sit around and watch bad television and divulge my inner need to do nothing at least until I have to go to work. The thing is it's not laziness. I want to get up, put on some real clothes and do work, or go for a run or be creative but I just can't. It's amazing for as advanced as we are, we are just a slave to our emotions. And we always will be. I just wish I knew why it comes around.

And then it pours down rain in the sun; in the middle of the afternoon; with hundreds of white puffy clouds in the background.

Ah, enough about that. So, I had the interview in Tampa. I'm pretty sure I secured a second interview. Also, through another friend in Tampa, have another job interview which would be excellent money. But then, here in my current job, I was approached by the head of catering and conventions to a possible position in the conventions arena. I would be working with people and setting up things from the transportation to the food, to the venue, basically taking care of these guests' needs. Something that although isn't helping the world would be really interesting and fun and most importantly creative. So now, I'm torn as to what would truly be the best move for me. I know the right one will come to me. But for right now, this need to find a job and be so ordinary is kinda slightly killing me. I wish I could just go off in search of something. I don't even know what I would be looking for but what I do know is that I need to explore. Cursory glance to my life, I have all that I need. But, still, there is something missing. Maybe one day this thirst will vanish and I can be okay with living an average life because after all, life is what we make it and I think that no matter how "average" my life is, I doubt I'll let it ever be average but I don't want to be delusional either. :]

Oh life, And now the sun is shinning even brighter as if to say "eff you rain, I'm much better then you"

My life since May 19, has been great. Hanging out with good friends.
Saw SATC 2 with Nick.
Overall, life's been swell.

Ok, I'm going to continue laying around. Hopefully no one will bother me. I'll blog a more sunny version of myself soon!

<3

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