all these people drinking lover's spit...

I must warn the reader before I write this that I am running off 3 hours of sleep, so bear with me. In news of the job front, I have been applying myself like crazy to all sorts of jobs. I am now considering a job in South Korea teaching English but that would only buy me one more year of not finding a more permanent job.
But really what I want is these paid "internship" with Public Allies. It's this great organization that Michelle Obama was a part of. It's a leadership training position. I would be working with a local non-profit while being trained for leadership. Not sure if I'll be getting trained with swords but one can hope. This seems to be my best option at the moment. So we'll see. I'd be lucky to get it. They start interviewing in August.

I had been really creative lately. I've been painting and writing. Mostly just super inspired to be a way better version of myself. Not sure of the reason why but it's been there. This drive. I'm thankful for it. I'm thankful for all the experiences I have had in my life. Each one albeit too short sometimes (yesi'mtalkingaboutyou) has brought some type of emotion or feeling. I have learned from each of these things. Learned what I like, what I want, what I don't like, basically, what kind of person I am. More recently, a person who I won't name. We aren't friends anymore. We're not really much of anything anymore and that's okay. Because for the short time spent together, it was real. It was deep and it made me feel.I feel like light was brought back into my life. I became myself again. I feel like the jaded:cynical:distrusting version realized how real things can be. So, for that I can't be sad that it's over. Well that's a lie, one can't help but be sad. But I think the emotion I most feel is disappointment, I think of all the things we were going to do, the memories that we were going to create and realize that these won't happen now. It's finito and I wasn't ready for that. And I'm still not. But, how do you convince someone to like you again? I'll take the classy road. Is that the even right word?

Something I was working on that spurred from a conversation with AVN was about the death of a language. In particular our language. I didn't think that was possible but the examples I came up with as good books or writings were all almost at least 100 years old. And then I got to thinking of ways to describe how I was feeling with this new thing in my life and here's what I got...

Actually you know what, in spite of how I'm feeling today, I'm going to save this for another day. But it really is good. Take my word for it.